Pollution Problems In England

Disclaimer #1: I don't know many gay people or people struggling with same sex attraction. If someone close to me was gay, I may feel differently about this situation. I also can say with confidence that I myself have never felt same sex attraction or doubted my attraction to the female species.

Disclaimer #2: As a result of Disclaimer #1, I feel like I'm writing about pollution problems in England: I just don't get the problem because I've never been there and I don't know people who are there.  A lot of people online can post about their opinions, but many don't mention what kind of exposure they've had to gay people, or whether they've experienced same sex attraction feelings themselves. I would urge anyone writing on this to put their own personal experiences with gay people or knowledge about the topic before discussing it, to maintain transparency.

Disclaimer #3: Based on the first 2 Disclaimers, I am not qualified to talk about this subject. At all. But as a practicing Christian, I affirm the truth of the Bible and implications for important issues like these. And I can read, which helps a lot, actually. And finally, I can write, albeit with little talent. So here goes, with hopefully less of my thoughts and more of God's truth.

Truth #1: The Bible says that homosexuality as a sin.

How can this be debated? The Bible is quite clear: homosexuality is a perversion of the good that God created. If you believe that the Bible is true, you have to conclude that God believes sexual attraction for the same sex as wrong.

Truth #2: The Bible says that everyone is born wanting to sin, each in different ways. 

Everybody sins. "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Pretty simple, once again. So should we be surprised when people sin, or when we sin? No. Non-Christians and Christians sin, repeatedly. We all stand guilty before the Righteous Judge.

Truth #3: The Bible says a Christian is born again into a new life, with the literal "mind of Christ."

A Christian can live in freedom from sin because of the freedom granted in Christ Jesus over sin. This does not mean that a Christian will never sin again or be tempted to sin, it just means that he/she will now want to pursue the God-given provision (either marriage or singleness) instead of the perversion of homosexuality. It baffles me when Christians say they are homosexual. It's like me saying, "I'm a porn addict," or "I'm a liar." Christians should say, "I was homosexual, I was a fornicator, but God saved me from that to the joys of knowing Him!"

Truth #4: The Bible says that Christians are to treat non-Christians as Christ treated them.

How did Christ treat non-Christians? Well, first and foremost, He died for them. Kind of a big deal. He died to save them from the rightful justice and wrath of the Father (more on that another time). He also came to serve them and meet their needs. The Church today, as a whole, has failed to imitate Christ in this regard. How can this be remedied? I'll point out one obvious answer: the Church must read the Bible alone and follow Christ's example alone. There are more answers, but that is not the focus of this post.

Truth #5: The Bible says that we are to carry the Christian gospel to the world. 

The world needs to hear the truth about homosexuality and the hope that Christ offers to be free from it. Whether or not the Supreme Court defines marriage in a traditional or "equal" sense is secondary compared to the spreading of the Biblical message, in my opinion. I don't disagree with wanting to define marriage in the traditional sense, but I would just pose two questions to my Christian brothers and sisters: Should this surprise us? Does it change our primary message as Christians? My answer is a resounding no to both questions.

So, even though I'm about as qualified to speak about homosexuality as I am to speak about pollution problems in England, I still feel that this an opportunity to carry the hopeful message of Christ to a world in desperate need of it. If anyone would like to talk more about this Jesus, or you have questions about this post in particular, please email me at kyleplayford@gmail.com.

A Mental Conversation

My mental conversation when listening to a sermon on any given Sunday goes something like this:

One side of Kyle: "Yes that's correct- I should be more like that."

The other side of Kyle: "You couldn't actually follow all those suggestions Kyle. There's like 4 points in this message, with 3 subpoints per point. And if you come back next week, there will be 4 entirely new points, with an entirely new perspective on life. People around you are writing all these points down, but failing to recognize the gravity which each of these statements should have on us. 'Seek the Holy Spirit through prayer.' That's one of the points???!!?? Are you kidding me? Does the preacher realize that if everyone did this one point for the rest of their lives, all division and triviality within the church would cease? Does he think we are stupid enough to move on to an entirely new thought when entire classes in seminary could be devoted to this one question? He surely must realize that the Christian life isn't made up of nicely worded sermon points. When he bombards us with 7 huge ideas in the space of 45 minutes, he shouldn't be surprised when we have trouble focusing on our Bibles for 10 minutes every morning. He models for us a 'trivial pursuit' of Scripture: all facts and ideas but no time to explore their actual meaning. People wonder why they don't 'get anything' out of their devotions; it's because our church pastors go through an entire chapter of Scripture in one sermon."

One side of Kyle: "That's true. Last week's message was about praise to God in Psalms, this message is about trials and tribulations in James. Are they connected? The pastor doesn't really seem to connect them at all."

The other side of Kyle: "It's interesting how the Bible can talk about God in incredibly different ways. Ecclesiastes casts God as very pragmatic and the answer to the futility of life. Philemon sees Him as the reconciler between two parties. Job shows God to be incredibly powerful and sovereign over all trials in our lives."

One side of Kyle: Here's my question: We can sit and listen and read about to the different facets of God's character all day. We can recognize that truly following Christ is what is lacking in our churches today. But what exactly does following Christ mean? When I plan my week in Google Calendar every Sunday, how can I structure my time as Christ would have me do it? Can I shower and have breakfast as if I am dead to myself and alive in Christ? Can I browse Facebook while enduring hardness as a soldier of Jesus Christ? Does that mean that I constantly post feel good pictures about how God has it all worked out and He's the peanut butter to my jelly? I say that following Christ is the correct thing to do, but how do I start over and truly live according to the Bible's commands, with no concern for other people's opinions about holiness? How can I surrender my life to Christ, daily and fully?

At this point, I have, of course, stopped listening to the pastor, and admitted that I am a thriving schizophrenic.

Scream it from the Mountaintops

Above all, I am a truthseeker. Once truth is known, meaning can be found in life. Believing in the truth brings about positive change, one day at a time. It cannot happen overnight. But the truth must never be compromised in the process of positive change.

The truth is worth screaming from the mountain tops. It is that important.

4 basic questions:

Where did you come from? (Origin)

• I was created by God, who knew me before the foundation of the world. I was created in His image, but corrupted by sin nature.
• Creation story- Genesis

Why are you here? (Meaning)

• I am here to find out about the God who created me. To rediscover my broken relationship through the free sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
• Salvation theme throughout Scripture

What is right and wrong? (Morality)

• God has ordained a moral law in our hearts and in His Word. There is right and there is wrong. The most right thing to do is whatever God has said to do, and avoid the opposite.
• Found in the Bible

What happens after you die? (Destiny)

• All will be judged. Those with the righteousness of Christ will be spared, but those with their own righteousness will be sent to Hell in eternal torment.
• Found in the Bible

How to develop:

1. Read the Bible daily, writing down who God is and what He does.
2. Communicate with God through Jesus Christ.

A New Starting Point

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." Proverbs 9:10

The starting point for Solomon, the wisest man on the face of the planet, was NOT to figure out himself. He says, "You want a smart starting point? Take a good look at God. Figure out who He is. Start everything from there. I'm the wisest guy ever, and I'm imploring you to forget yourself and focus on someone else."


From a Biblical/Christian worldview, my thought process so far in this blog has been flawed.

What of it?

Well, I'm not sure. If I truly believe the Bible, then I need to change a lot of my thought processes. It would be the start of a journey- a journey to figure out who God is. I could spend the rest of my life on that journey. It's a big commitment- an enormous, radical shift in my current thinking.

So what's keeping me from committing? Simply this: I currently hold personal experience to be of greater value than knowledge of God. I am too prideful. I think that I can figure out how to live without  knowing who God is. I don't believe the Bible is correct. I may not say that out loud, but my actions and thoughts live that statement out loud.

Who am I?

What makes us who we are? How did we get to be what we are, in this moment? I'm not talking about who you would like to be in the future, I'm talking what you are  right now. What has caused you to think the way that you do? Is it internal? Did you make who you are? Are you in control of your circumstances? Or is it external?

Here is what has made me what I am:

External: 

• Did not choose my gender, parents, place of birth, or economic status. 
• Was basically at the mercy of my parents when it came to influences on my life, until about the 8th grade, when I chose to go to public school. 

Internal:

• You could say that everything after that was my own individual choice. I chose my friends, my work ethic, and my personal beliefs. 

I don't buy the argument that music, media, or outside influences make you do things. Or that lasting change is brought by a particular book or sermon. You can't say something like "John Piper changed my life." John Piper may have written a book or delivered a sermon, but you decided to change. If you suddenly fall away from your decision, it is not John Piper's fault. It is your fault. 

I believe that anyone can achieve their goals, despite nearly all external factors. If you are born with no arms or legs, you probably won't be an NBA player. However, if someone is willing to work hard and put forth enough effort, he can achieve a high level of success despite nearly any external factors. 

Can an ACL tear put an end to certain short term goals? Yes. Can it demoralize a person enough to change his entire trajectory of life, leading to a failure to reach long term goals? Yes. Can it also motivate enough to push him to the edge to complete and exceed those former long term goals? Yes. 

Anything can happen. 

Summary: 

-Circumstances happen. They can be good (blessings) or bad (trials). They may be the result of past choices on your part, but more likely the outcome was influenced by things totally outside of your control. 

-You are who you are simply because. I am Kyle Playford because that's who I am. I have the power to change myself, to accept or deny Christ, to renounce control of my life or take control of it. I won't say what I choose yet, because what I choose could change at any time. That brings up another topic: consistency. But that's for another post. 

Crutches

My two best friends for the next month or so. Many thanks to my friend Hailey for loaning them to me. 

Day 1- My Starting Point

A beginning can be hard to start. Whenever I would try to start a new workout program, a new habit, or the breaking of an old habit, it would be very difficult the first day. I could almost guarantee that my chest and legs would be sore for the next week, or that I would lose sleep because I would try to fit my new habit into the rest of my day. However, I quickly found a solution for this: motivational videos or music. Emotion in itself can be a huge motivator for me. If I can listen to the final two minutes of "Fix You" by Coldplay, I can talk myself into doing just about anything. The emotions that I feel in those moments bring about change. 

I used to believe that if I could just find what made me emotionally focused and keep that on a loop in my head throughout the day, I could accomplish so much more. I could finally stick to a schedule, I could stop berating myself for being so lazy, and I could become everything that I wanted to be. Do you live in a constant state of wishing you were better than you are? Like, I'm not exactly sure what I should be, but I know it's not who I am right now. 

I do. I've lived that life for a long time now. I live that right this very moment. I should know how to compose a better blog post than this. I could change this entire thing right now, erase all that I've written and start over. What I have so far isn't that important. However, the next thing that I write could be inferior, just as much as it could be a superior. You never know.

I live in a constant state of dissatisfaction. I am a perfectionist. 

According to Wikipedia, the word "perfectionism" can be defined in a philosophical or a psychological sense. I think both describe me, at my core. 

So what? Einstein didn't invent quantum mechanics because he was happy with science as it was. If a bodybuilder is satisfied with how he looks before a competition, he will probably lose. If a company produces a product that's "good enough," they'll be out of business faster than you can snap your fingers. Someone will come along who will be driven to get it right, or up to their own higher standard. So you see, perfectionists succeed. They get it. In the end, they will either reach their goals or be driven to madness by failure. 

All of that to say, and this is my starting point: I'm being driven to madness by failure. I've failed thus far in securing key components for success and happiness in life. My place of employment has yet to be determined; I do not have a significant other in my life, and the window of time for both of these things to happen is rapidly closing. The job thing is more worrisome than the significant other right now, but both weigh heavy on my perfectionist heart. And this ACL accident has only ratcheted up the Anxiety Scale to Code Red. 

What of it?

I love asking that question. What's the point? Why am I saying these things? Especially on the Internet, where I literally could not take them back, even if I wanted to? Why are you still reading this post? I can think of 10 things right off the top of my head that you should do rather than read my ramblings. So what is the point? The point is, I am trying to get you to see me. Kyle David Playford. What goes through my head, what makes me tick. Who I really am. That's why I write.